Better than the Truth
by Doctor Strangelove
Summary: A missing scene from The Gift. [SpikeBuffy]


TITLE: "Better than the Truth"

TITLE: "Better than the Truth" 

AUTHOR: Doctor Strangelove

RATING: PG

CONTENT: Teensy bit of language, but mostly I just don't think angst should be rated G.

GENRE: Romance/Angst

SPOILERS: "The Gift"

DISCLAIMER: I'm just borrowing these characters. I'll put them back when I'm done.

SUMMARY: A missing scene from "The Gift". Sequel to "Given the Chance" but can be read as a stand-alone.

"Weapons in the chest by the TV. I'll grab the stuff upstairs."

"Uh, Buffy…"

Buffy turned around and looked at me. She's forgotten. I gently run my fingers along the threshold to remind her, "If you wanna just hand them  
over the threshold-"

"Come in, Spike," I try to pretend I'm not moved by those words. I don't think I'm doing a very good job, "Presto. No barrier," I walk into her living room and towards the weapon chest, "Won't bother with the small stuff. Couple of good axes should hold off Glory's mates while you take on the lady herself."

"We're not all gonna make it. You know that."

I know. I pick up some axes and walk over to Buffy, "Yeah. Hey, I always knew I'd go down fighting. Sure as hell never thought it'd be on this side," Under my breath I added, "Or for this reason."

"I'm counting on you, Spike. To protect her."

"Till the end of the world. Even if that happens to be tonight. Nobody touches the Little Bit while Spike's around. I promise."

Buffy turned and headed upstairs, "I'll be one minute."

_This is it, Spike_. _Your last chance_. "I know you'll never love me."

She turned and looked at me. She didn't say anything. "I know that I'm a monster. But you treat me like a man, and that's…" I couldn't finish, "Get your stuff. I'll be here."

Buffy looked at me for a minute and went upstairs. I sighed and sat down on the stairs. I stared at the axes by my side and felt the words swell up inside of me, "That's the most important thing to me. Sometimes, I think it's even better than you loving me. Just letting me be your friend," I scoffed. _Little late_.

"Spike?" I looked up and saw Buffy at the top of the stairs holding a picture frame. _Did she hear me? _

"What is it?"

She walked down the stairs with tears in her eyes and handed me the frame. It was a picture of her with Dawn and her mom. She's already lost one. So had I. She may lose another. Hell, all of them could be dead before the night's over.

Buffy collapsed into my lap and started weeping. If this had been a few months ago I would've taken advantage of this situation. Not now. Not with all that's going on. I love her too much to do that.

"I wonder," she started to say while still staring at the ground, "If Dawn knows how I feel. Or if she just thinks that because she's not really my sister, she's not worth saving. Then I think that she could die without knowing how much I love her."

"Maybe it's better that way. In case she dies, or Glory kills you. Maybe it's betterto ust not know. So, that you won't think you missed out on anything while you were alive. Plus, it make the funeral a hell of a lot easier," Buffy looked up at me with a strange look on her face. Horror? Disgust? Sadness? Sympathy? I couldn't tell. I smiled a little, "But that's just me."

She smiled and stood up, "I'll go get the weapons."

"Listen to me! There's no time, Dawn, please listen," I brought Dawn close to make sure she could hear me, "Dawn listen to me. Listen. I love you," _Spike's wrong, She _has_ to know. _"I'll always love you. But this is the work I have to do. Tell Giles I figured it out. And I'm okay. Give my love to my friends," The words were coming out when I heard Spike's voice in my head. _"So, that you won't think you missed out on anything while you were alive."_ "You have to take care of them now- you have to take care of each other. You have to be strong, Dawn. The hardest thing in this world-" _"-is loving someone who used to love you." _Darla's words still rung in my ears as I thought of Spike. "-is to live in it. Be brave. Live. For me."

I wiped a tear away and kissed Dawn. I took a moment to remember her face. I turned around and ran. I couldn't help letting the tears fall as I thought of Dawn and what Spike meant to say back at my house. I couldn't let him know, but I had to say what I wanted to tell Dawn, "And tell Spike," I took a breath as I reached the edge of the platform, "I love him." I jumped and his words echoed in my head, and then there was pain, and then there was nothing. Nothing at all.

_"Maybe it's better to just not know…"_


End file.
